Stoned Racounteur

Friday, December 31, 2004

First post from the Laptop!

yay,i got a laptop as a gift from my brother!!First post from the ubiquitous symbol of mobile computing.I was just browsing this site...
some really funny signatures here.I have always loved to read quotations at length but this site really has some funny ones from anything to everything.
Some good ones,
Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.

Now that food has replaced my sex life, I can't even get into my own pants!

Happiness is like peeing yourself, everyone can see it but only u can feel its warmth!

On a scale between one to ten, you're an idiot!

"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno

"AOL for Dummies" is kind of redundant, don't you think?

"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!" - Homer Simpson

"If these pills don't stop the kleptomania," said the psychiatrist, "try and get me a nice video camera."

"It's all coming back to me now", said the blind man as he peed into the wind.

"Nearly everything you read signed "from God" is just somebody putting their words in My mouth." - God

"Streakers *repant* your end is in sight."

"The game of catch has never been so fun!" - inventor of the hand grenade.

24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -Ernest Hemingway

American beer is like making love in a canoe. It's f*cking close to water. - Monty Python

And God said: Let there be vodka! And He saw that it was good. Then God said: Let there be light! And then He said: Whoa - too much light.

As a rule, I don't drink -- as a habit, I do!

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

Beer - The reason I wake up every afternoon.

Beer contains Vitamin Pee.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!

Beer: Now THERE'S a temporary solution.

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your beer.

Dough, the stuff, that buys my beer, Ray, the guy that tends the bar, Me, the guy, who drinks my beer, Far, the distance to the bar, So, I think I'll have a beer, La, Laa lAA lAh LaH LAA LAAAH! Tea, no thanks I want a beer, which brings us back to Dough Dough Dough!

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he'll waste a lifetime.

I don't drink anymore. Of course, I don't drink any less, either.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra

I have a drink to celebrate the little things. Like Tuesdays - we only have one of those a week!

I killed a six-pack just to watch it die.

I swear to drunk I'm not God!

I'd rather have a beer than win father of the year - Homer Simpson

Some of theselines really made me roll on the floor especially the ones on beer.
Do check it out, its a lot fun.


  • Aditya Mangla (Lord_IT at : a great collection Sir ;) I loved it .. have posted it at the fun forum at the lounge.

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