Stoned Racounteur

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Viva Voce

If there is one place where the all the fun is , in an engineering college, it has got to be the vivas.With the future of our country cooking up such ludicrous answers that few would believe that these are the same people who beat lakhs others to get into IITs,DIT\DCE, REcs etc.

The following post shows some of the examples of ingenuity shown by engineering students.All of these experiences had been posted on PG and I have simply done a copy paste job.But do read ‘em, they are hilarious and bring back great memories. Some are from my own college, some from IITs and some RECs. All supposed to harbor the “cream” of the country.

Here goes…


Venue:NSIT,Delhi

Prof: Is there 3 phase elec?
Std: yes
Prof: Is there 6 phase elec?
Std: (lil confused)mmm....yes
Prof: Is there 15 phase elec?
Std: (now bordering on bewilderment...looks around for help)sir....mmm....cant say...i guess .....yes
Prof: So tell me .....where is all this electricity coming from?
Std:(realizing that trap has been set but still tries to recover): sir.........mmmm.......Delhi Vidyut Board


REC Warangal

Q: Nikhil, the circuit you have drawn is wrong and you will not be allowed to proceed with the exam ie perform what’s in the circuit.
Ans: Madam, is it factually erroneous or aesthetically unpleasant?


sir:-why is the blade of jackplane inclined?
myself:-(questioning in return)how can its smoothen the surface if it is not inclined. its not possible.
sir:-WHAT?
myself:- see sir (he is more attentive now) when u butter the bread , u incline the butter-knife and take off the top layer of the butter. thats why the blade of the jack plane is inclined. sir u try to do it with vertical knife, its not possible.


Sir : fan runs on AC or DC ?
Student : AC
Sir : Why not DC ?
Student : Chal to jaayega, lekin utna mazaa nahi aayega




Prof : Wjhat is blah .... blah ...
Me : er.....I don't know sir..
Prof : Wjhat is blah .... blah ... part 2
Me : er.....I don't know sir..
Prof : Kal raat ko kitne baaje tak padhe ?
Me : (hoping to gain sympathy) Sir, kal mein raat ko do baaje tak padha !
Prof : Answers dekhke lagta hai tumhne ek baaje shuru kiya tha padhna

Venue: Foundry Lab, IIT Kgp
Prof. : Tell me what is foundry
Stud: (looks around the lab... roams his hand) SIr, This is foundy
no more questions from him



Venue:IIT KGP,Manufacturing Lab

Prof: So u are from Calcutta, Tell me what kind of joints are there in Howrah Bridge
F: err...Sir .. Welding ...
P: Accha its welding ... good ...
(He then wnets on to tell him that its Rivetting, which is the Nut-Bolt used joints)
P: Accha now tell me why is it Rivetting and Not welding
F: Sir actually howrah bridge was built in British Period. They made it Nut-Bolt str and not Welding so that in case there is an insurgency on one side they can dismantle the bridge and keep ppl from crossing the Brdige

Venue:IIT KGP

There is this guy who is real dumb ( not to mention ) and he is writing his first year electrical circuits end sem exams..he is lucky enough to get a seat next to some "muggu"...so, he passes a word before the exam starts requesting him to keep his paper wide wide visible...this "muggu" guys in turn requests him to change the language and the matter a lil bit so that they don't end up writing the same thing...

Now, hold your breath...

The "muggu" guy wrote in his paper....****** 3 phase *******

to this, our stud copies, with a lil bit of innovation....******* 2.99 phase *********


Venue: Viva of 3rd sem Instrumentation lab in SJCE Mysore

Prof: What are the constants in a first order.....equation??( cant remember what that damn equation was)
Student: (After thinking hard for 10-15 secs...) sir.....a,b
Prof: ok what is a?? what is b??
Student: Sir.........they are constants


4 sem BE electrical prac exams
venue-electrical machines lab
Q-how does a DC motor start??
Ans- after thinking 4 few secs . Clears his throat and goes dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhukdhukdhukdhukdhukdhukdhuk..
The prof is and 1 of the stus sitting next to the senior falls down laughing!! The prof says-"enuf stop"
response-"dhukdhukdhukdhukdhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk and ends with a clicking sound.

Venue:CET,Trivandrum(not sure…)
Sir! I dont know Malayalam" - The most cliched phrase I used in CET to escape from any sort of Questioning and all.
Machine Shop 1 Viva
External : Question No.1
Stud :
External : Question No.2
Stud :
External : Question No.6
Stud :
Now The external started to ask Question No.1 in Malayalam
Stud replied back with confidence - "Sir!!! I dont know Malayalam"
External : Oh! I thought you dint understand English!
Stud: Wonders whether to laugh or cry!



4 Comments:

  • hey dood a wanna add another real life anecdote...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:37 PM  

  • hey dood wanna add another real life anecdote...
    venue:Bhaddal college or engiennering..punjab(PTU and yaeh U se university ...lol...din found funny,,,juss go ahead)
    viva voice for RDBMS..A gentleman with 3 seemingly brilliant stundents in front
    SIR(to 1):so wot are the techniques for rdbms...
    1: no idea...
    SIR:(to 2)can u tell me
    2(trying to second the thot of the first): even i hav no idea
    SIR(a bit disgusted turns to 3):so tell your frnds wot are the various techniques
    3:totally blanched...
    SIR(feeling almost victorious):so guys tell me how do rdmns help in computing,,
    1,2,3 repeasts the same outstanding performance;;;
    ----------
    few Minutes later...
    Sir(asked crazily) you dumb heads jus tell me wots the full form of RDBMS
    and then theres that OMInous silence...
    and before SIR was to bang his head to the wall near by...
    1 break away the silence by voluntarily yelling,,,
    SIr "D se to Data hoga."(and passed that ecstasic smile like had sume multiple orgasms)...
    AND yeha sir FAINTS.....
    Disclaimer:this is a real life incident..names and characters hav been changed to as to maintain the anonymity of those genius who are holdin respectable jobs...lolllll...and yeah any resemblance is by gods grace,,,,cheers...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:52 PM  

  • nice wun dood

    By Blogger Rohit Anand, at 9:11 PM  

  • rolling on the floor laughing my fat ass off ............. great ones yaar ...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:13 PM  

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