Stoned Racounteur

Monday, February 07, 2005

When cupid struck !

“Aag ka kya hai pal do pal mein lagti hai ,
Bujhte bujhte ek zamaana lagta hai”

No lines carry more truth than these.

1995

I was in 7th when I first saw her, my friend had forced me to come and see the “new” girl he had discovered. I didn’t think much of it and went back to class when the lunch break ended.

1996-2001

We had all the sections in our school reshuffled; she was a classmate of mine after that. We became friends. We used to sit together and she would shout at me endlessly for not sitting properly and what not.I can still remember those fights. I loved to talk to her, just look at her and used to get that tingling feeling you read about in books.

I was in love. Pure and simple. Never ever wanted to do anything but look at her. Didn’t even want to talk, just look. I would smile if I saw her smiling. I would feel sad if she was sad. I would dream about us being together. Innumerable times I thought that I should go upto her and tell her everything I felt about her.Finally gathered the strength to somehow tell her. I sent my friend with card that said I loved her. She threw it in the bin and told my friend that she would never talk to me again. I was devastated. But I knew I couldn’t stand the fact that I wouldn’t talk to her. I told my friend to go tell her that it was all a big joke. Ironic that it has become just that now, a joke.

After that things moved on, we remained friends on and off, sometimes not talking for months. She started acting aloof and I knew it would never happen.

2001- present

College came and went. Girlfriends came and went.
She’s been in a relationship for 6 years. She wants to get married to the guy.
I have had 7 girlfriends since then.
I still look at her pic.
I still dream about her.
I still feel my eyes getting moist when I read my diary from school.
I miss her voice.
I miss her eyes.
I still love her.
I met her when I was 11, I turned 21 two days ago.

I can’t imagine my life if I hadn’t met her. She doesn’t know what she meant to me or what changes she brought in me.I know it is stupid but I still want remain in love with her forever. I know now that it will never happen and I will never tell her because that would make things even worse. I just can’t help feeling like a kid when I think about her. I love the feeling of dreaming when the sun is out. I feel alive when I think about her smile, her voice, her.

Lemme just sign off now lest someone thinks that I’ve gone nuts.

Ciao

Rohit

12 Comments:

  • hi rohit,
    ur experience is very moving.i wish u had't signed off and written more abt ur love.first love is truly the greatest expression of one's soul.the other relationships are generally fallback relationships to forget first love.i am really sad to hear ur tale.i wish i cud do something about it.but yes always count ur blessings,cherish what u have.
    "aur bhi gam hain zamane mein mohabbat ke siwa"
    best of luck for your interviews

    By Blogger samar, at 6:47 PM  

  • hi rohit,
    just wanted to say that i am really touched

    By Blogger shireen, at 10:23 AM  

  • hi rohit,

    just wanted to say...i am really touched.

    By Blogger shireen, at 10:45 AM  

  • hi rohit,
    just wanted to say... that i am really touched!
    -shireen

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:56 AM  

  • Simple. Move on.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:35 PM  

  • @samar-dood it is a gr8 part of life...summin to cherish

    @makkar-happy that things didn't get messed up

    @anonymous-did i ever say that i am sad 'bout what happened...there is no question of "movin on" per se coz tis summin i dun wanna forget.

    By Blogger Rohit Anand, at 5:56 PM  

  • come on rohit get over it... ur messing up things in ur present relationship..either jus sit an dream abt this girl an forget the one u possess or give urself completely to the one u own at present..enough of these kiddish stuff.GROW UP!!!!!
    PALAK

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:41 PM  

  • palak i can't help it...it ain't abt growin up its just summin i can't change...n i thot it had changed when i was wid renni

    By Blogger Rohit Anand, at 10:14 PM  

  • i believe that nothing is permanent in LIFE .Everthing in life is just like dust in the wind , as you never know wich side and when the wind blows and takes u to someplace or to someone so special that u could have never imagined. so its for u to know the value of person u r with before that person leaves because of some .......anyways best of luck for ur life, interviews and things that u do, coz i dont want u to regret it later.

    By Anonymous RENNI, at 12:03 PM  

  • hey rohit, I know you from PG ... I see, feel and understand exactly what you said about your childhood love ... and I also see that many of the people who left comments didn't exactly get the point! ... anyway, tell me one thing : why did you just forget pursuing her after she rebuffed your first attempt? I mean, afterall, you were in your 8th or 9th grade at the time, right? it's only natural for any decent girl her age to be intimidated, feel disreputed or whatever, TO SIMPLY accept a boy's proposal ... what I feel is, you could have let her mature, give her time and scope to know you better and then renew your proposal - am sure, given your love for her and from what I know about you from PG, she would have gladly become yours! ... ? please let me know of any missing links in your relationship with her ... (Looking at your post today, the 8th of March, fond memories of my school life come flooding back and I will share with you what I always felt :

    Nothing is half so sweet in life as love's young dream!

    I know not whose quote it was but it's meaning should only be felt, not understood!

    Vinay

    By Blogger Vinay, at 2:40 PM  

  • vinay dood...dya think i wud have missed an opportunity if there was one :D....sadly enuff she's been goin arnd wid a guy for as long as i can seem to remember :(....kabhi kabhi kismat saath nahin deti...mere relationships 5 mahine nahin chalte aur use 5 saal se bhi jyaada ho gaye:)

    By Blogger Rohit Anand, at 4:49 PM  

  • boss the article was good,in fact gr8, xcept that i m not prety sure abt the '7'( a number u ve used for ur GFs)
    i think u r like the Crystal Merchant in ALCHEMIST who never wants to realise his destiny coz he is afraid of WAT AFTER THAT.

    anyways it's good to ve such a feeling which u can 'cherish' day in n out n probably make ur inspiration 2(THASSA)

    All the best for ur IIM life and do ur best

    ciao
    JAIN (:)))

    By Anonymous Rohit Jain, at 2:22 AM  

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