Stoned Racounteur

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Globalization - The innocent scapegoat

Have you ever stopped and tried to think how profoundly our lives have been permeated by the symbols of globalization?

Let us look at what a student like me living in the year 2005 needs\uses. Necessities include, Food, air, clothes, books, communication devices, watch, TV, newspaper, some mode of transport, though there are more I have only these at the top of my mind.

Now lets look at who manufactures these.I’ll take my own example, I use a cell phone manufactured by LG (A South Korean Company), the TV that I have in my room is made by a Japanese company, Sony, the newspaper that I read (supposedly!) Economic Times is owned by Bennett Colman Ltd. , My watch is manufactured by Casio(American?, definitely not an Indian company again!), I wear jeans manufactured by an American company , My bike is a product of the Hero-Honda collaboration Honda is Japanese.Almost all the books I have read in college and other general leisure reading have been by foreign authors. Even the damn blades are made by Gillette!

How could I forget my dear PC, now lets see, as I look around the products are made by Samsung(South Korea), Intel, HP, Nvidia, only the UPS is Indian!

I am sure most of you will have a similar kind of story, now so much debate goes on whether or not globalization is good or not, I ask “can the urban population now do without globalization?”. What if all of a sudden you take all these things away from the urban consumer? This is a rather interesting concept, In the book “Future shock “ Alvin Toffler writes about how the human race will have a tough time adapting to the changes in culture and in fact a crisis may arise due to the extremely fast pace of change.

Haven’t we become so dependent on these products that any debate on the underlying concept behind their existence is superfluous? Then why do we have so much debate, and to tell you the truth I have never ever understood how globalization “exacerbates” the poverty of the poor. If someone is unemployed and is unskilled, but still some MNC sets up a sweatshop and gives them a job then at least they can feed themselves.

No one forces the people to work in sweat shops; they do it voluntarily, simply because they need the money to survive. Rather than blaming the MNCs, like many leftist politicians choose to do, we should look at where our system has failed. Why not blame the endless list of bureaucratic procedures that are strangling the system and hammering its efficiency? Or why not question the fact that only 15% of the money allocated to sarva shiksha abhiyaan is actually granted?

If today the power sector needs Rs. 165,000 crores of investment to satisfy the growing Industry, then the only way this capital will land in India is by shedding the “we are still hung up on socialism and we choose not to move our asses” attitude.

It is frustrating for me to see that I live in a country with such massive potential and still the progress is only a modicum of what can be done. Why is India lagging behind? When will the culture of corruption end? When will the politicians start acting like responsible civil servants? When will we accept global cultural practices? Will it take another rising of the masses; I don’t see any other solution.

Ironically, I feel that if ever an uprising against the government will take place, it will be in rural India. An India that doesn’t understand the global economic scenario but does feel the frustration of endless poverty. These will be the people who, in the last 50 years, have been promised everything they could ever dream of, but have been given only hardship and hunger.

God help my country.

Friday, January 28, 2005

"Tech"tonic Shifts

Started with acads for the interview
Seemed like such a long time since I had seen tech related stuff, kinda enjoyed doing it. Finished one book (Yaaay!) though ‘twas the easiest subject…Digital Electronics

Coming soon are demons like DSP, Digi comm.(I literally shiver when I think bout this subject), Analog Elec ( not exactly my strong area), Electrical Machines ( the most abstruse subject EVER!aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh!)

Apart from that…preppin for the intw on Monday( another Mock!) .Interestingly enough, The feedback that the CL faculty gave me was that my MBA answer(which I had prepared beforehand) needed some work but my “Introduce yourself” answer(which was Impromtu) was gr8! Something to think about there, mebbe I should give all my interviews unprepared.

Not surprisingly they gave me “Needs to work hard” for the general awareness feedback…lol..mebbe next time they’ll ask me” Gimme the name of 10 chief ministers”…wunder if they have some kind of fetish with the number 10…now that I think about it…10 stocks..10 mutual funds..10 gov…10 lt gov..seems to be some pattern here.

Meeting school friends tonight for dinner…will be a relief from IIM\CAT and all that...

Anyways, time to get back to the drudgery of Analog Electronics, Sedra and Smith you better watch out!

Mock Interview #1- Is this the sign of things to come?

I had my first mock interview today at CL. I was screwed big time.Heres’ the transcript and do gimme some feedback guys.

Me-Rohit, Panel: P1-lady, P2-guy
P1: tell us some thing bout yourself
Me: told
P2: Why MBA
Me: 4 years in coll, did nuthin but took part in mgmt. contests, enjoyed it thoroughly. read books on mgm, journals, like ‘em.Interaction with studs., faadu profs,infra
P2: what bout 4 years in engg….why don’t u use that?
Me: repeats…even when in tech school, took part in mgmt stuff, want to create max “value”…limited scope as an engineer…
P2: don’t gimme vague and superfluous answers
Me: will enhance skill sets….blah blah
P1: read newspapers?which ones?
Me: yeah, ET.
P1: which company owns ET
Me: Bennett colmann
P2: In how many cities is it printed?
Me: no idea sir
P2: Headlines in todays edition
Me: told
P1: Interest in stock mkt haan?
Me: yeah
P2: what is a mutual fund?
P2: Name 10 in India
Me:LIC,UTI cholamandalam,HDFC, SBi LIC….can recall only these sir
P2: how many schemes of SBI
Me:87(thot I read it somewhere…P2 nods…,methinks he didn’t know it either)
P2 : what is I banking?
Me: told…bout private wealth mgmt and other shit like they maximize returns with least risk….
P2: whats the scene in india?
Me: not too many here, merril lynch, morgan Stanley,Deustch bank….GS doesn’t have even an office in India…
P2: where do they invest?
Me:stock mkts
P2: which sector…
Me: dunno exactly but methinks more like an index fund…balanced investement across all sectors(P2 nods again…I am sure he knew nothing bout this)
P2: ok…what price is ranbaxy trading at?
P2: SBI?
Me: 630?
P2: sure?
Me:errrrrrr……not exactly…
P2: gimme quotes of any 10 stocks..
Me: for some reason forgot almost everthing…cud give only 3-4
P2: hafta check that…smiles wickedly…
P1: lets come to acads
Me: nooooooooooooo…….
P1: GSM?
Me: told
P2: compare…
Me: ok….gsm better qual, cdma cheaper, higher capacity…
P2:what do u know bout 8085…
Me: mumbled summin
P2: 8086?
Me: additions to 8085…16 bit paging, segmentation,can address more memory, higher clk freq…
P2; which companies manufacture these?
Me: Intel, Atmel…Motorola did 68000 viz very similar….
P!: what is a bio chip
Me: dunno
P!: why is a chip called a chip?
Me:*baffled*…goes on about how they chip wafers off the semiconductor mass)
P1, P2: both smile…wryly
P2: who is prez of India
P1: vice prez?
Me: told
P1: previous vece prez…
Me: dunno….mebbe APJ?
Both : whaaaaaaaatttt?
P2: gdp of India
Me:$477 billion
P2:talk bout ITES sector
P2: which five year plan going on?
Me: 10th
P2: salient features
Me: gawd only knows …
P2: gimme names of 10 governors in India
Me: ( I was like….faakkk dude what the hell r u asking me?)…dunno
P2: lieutenant governors?
P2: diff b\w lt governor and governor?
Me: lieutenant is subordinate…
P2: sure..
Me:not really..
P2:full form of UPA
P2:gimme 5 parties in their alliance…
Me: cong, RJD,DMK,CPI(M),SDF..last wun was a tukka since I cud not recall anymore
P2: achievement of UPA..
Me: another vague anwswer
P2:handling of Tsunami
Me:blabbers some inanities about how they refused aid frm other countries to work independently..
P2: ok Rohit why should we not take u..
ME:I haven’t answered all the questions u asked me..(should have said..most but said some
P2: what will u bring to our insti..
Me: have done comm. Service have seen plight of ppl…will bring a different perspective and hence will diversity…
P1: thank you
ME: me sheepishly thanx em and go out thinking bout how it cud go so badly

Nothing on my strong hobbies like reading and blogging ;-)
Damn! Only some 3 weeks left now…gotta really pull up my socks…

Monday, January 24, 2005

News that makes me think

5 people killed as army jawans throw them out of the Farakka Express

The army jawans told others passengers to get out the compartement without rhyme or reason.When some protested, they were thrown out of the train and then were run over by a passing train.Sad really, that our “glorious” army harbors such maniacs. Incidents like these highlight the value of life in India. Imagine the repercussions if something like this happened in a country like Sweden\Norway\ Switzerland, where the population is still small enough to make them respect the value of a human being and feel the pain when fellow citizens are murdered.

3 % reservation for disabled in IAS.

I will not say that I understand the pain of being physically challenged because that would be an insult to the suffering of those who were dealt a hard hand by luck but I will voice my disapproval against this decision.This action was taken after Ravi Arora , a physically challenged IAS aspirant was denied a seat because he was physically handicapped .What I don’t understand is that how does this incident warrants a reseravation of 3%? Why not make I clear to the selection committee that the candidate must not be rejected\selected based on is physical capabilities.Why this obsession with creating quotas?

DMK alleges misuse of Tsunami Relief Funds

Now there are two things possible here.

DMK is right: How low can our politicians and bureaucrats fall? Stealing money from people who have lost homes, families and livelihood.
DMK is wrong and is simply alleging to gain political mileage out of a disaster that killed over 1,50,000 people.
So you see, neither scenario makes me especially proud of my country.

Father sells child for Rs 500 to cremate wife

Don’t know how to react to this.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Spot the Difference

Billy Joel : Piano Man

Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feelin' alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "bill, I believe this is killing me."
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

Noww Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy,
who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone

sing us a song you're the piano man
sing us a song tonight
well we're all in the moodfor a melody
and you got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while

And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here."

sing us a song you're the piano man
sing us a song tonight
well we're all in the mood for a melody
and you got us feeling alright

Eminem - I don't give a fuck

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jan BradyI'm a M80,
you Lil' like that Kim lady
I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer
Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
The +Proof+ is in the puddin, just ask the Deshaun Holton
I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman

So when you see me on your block with two glocks
Screamin _Fuck the World_ like Tupac
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
Talkin that shit behind my back, dirty mackin
tellin your boys that I'm on crack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
So put my tape back on the rack
Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
But see me on the street and duck
Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed
Cause I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!


Need I say more!

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Well done, Mr. Mehta!

I have been taking GD\PI with an IIMA pass out named Malay Ray. Now that dude has set out on the unenviable task of making us ignorant engineers appear as if we are aware of what is happening in the world. So he has been teaching us about everything from the power sector to telecom to banking to stock markets!

Now, just a couple of days ago, he was talking about the Harshad Mehta scam. After hearing what really happened I was truly amazed at the intelligence of the man. Sad really that he decided to use it the wrong way.

The Harshad Mehta scam:

Well, I just learnt it a couple of days ago, I am assuming that most of the junta is as ignorant as me and will be just as unaware. So here goes the most interesting scam ever!

In the early 1990s, the banks in India had to maintain a particular amount of their deposits in government bonds. This ratio was called SLR(Statutory Liquidity Ratio).Each bank had to submit a detailed sheet of its balance at the end of the day and also show that there was a sufficient amount invested in government bonds.

Now, the government decided that the banks need not show their details on each day, they need to do it only on Fridays. Also, there was an extra clause that said that the average %age of bond holdings over the week needs to be above the SLR but the daily %age need not be so. That meant that banks would sell bonds in the earlier part of the week and then buy bonds back at the end of the week. The capital freed in the starting of the week could then be invested.

Now, at the end of the week many banks would be desperate to buy bonds back. This is where the broker comes in. The broker knew which bank had more bonds (called ‘plus’) and which has less than the required amount (called ‘short’). He then acts as the middleman between the two banks.

Harshad Mehta was one such broker.

He worked as a middle man between many banks for a long time and gained the trust of the banks’ senior management.

Lets say that there are two banks A(short) and B(plus).Now what Harshad Mehta did was that he told the banker at A that he was dealing with many banks and hence did not know who would he deal in the end with. So he said that the bank should write the cheque in his name rather than the other bank (which was forbidden by law), so that he could make the payment to whichever bank was required. Since he was a trusted broker, the banks agreed.

Then, going back to the example of bank A and B, he took the money from A and went to B and said that he would pay the money on the next day to B but he needed the bonds right now (for A).But he offered a 15 % return for bank B for the one day extension. Bank B readily agreed with this since it was getting such a nice return.

Now since Harshad Mehta was dealing with many banks at the same time he could then keep some capital with him at all times. For eg. He takes money from A on Monday, and tells B that he’ll pay on Tuesday, then he takes money from C on Tuesday and tells D that he’ll pay on Wednesday and the money he gets from C is paid to B and as a result he has some working capital with him at all times if this goes on with other banks throughout the week.

The banks at that time were not allowed to invest in the equity markets. Harshad Mehta had very cleverly squeezed some capital out of the banking system. This capital he invested in the stock market and managed to stoke a massive boom. He took the price of ACC from 200 to 9000.Thats an increase of 4400%!!!The market went up like crazy and the bulls were on a mad run.

Since he had to book profits in the end, the day he sold was the day when the market crashed. The same day Vijaya Bank chairman committed suicide by jumping from the top of the banks’ office. The chairman knew that when it would become public that he had written cheques in the name of Mehta, he would be dead meat.

One rather unknown fact about this scam is that there was a very important player in this scam who managed to keep a very low profile. That man was Nimesh Shah.He was just as involved as Harshad Mehta but he knew how keep out of the hands of the law. Nimesh Shah still deals in the stock market and is known to be a heavy player.

Harshad Mehta is now dead. It is rumored that when he died, he still had 10% of ACC shares with him.

Monday, January 17, 2005

The damn chicken!

I have just lumbered my way on to the bed after almost falling to the ground laughing. Wondering why? I just read a nice long list of jokes.Now,One of the oldest jokes in history starts with the question “Why did the chicken cross the road”. Each person would answer this question with his own particular mindset. Here are a few such answers.Many personalities here are political, some are intellectuals but all the answers are most lip smackingly goofy! And yeah I added some in the end to add a DIT-touch and of course i have added answers that an engg srud would give!

The question to all of them: Why did the chicken cross the road?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

I agree with George.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2003.

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

I am still agreeing with my previous testimony that I had recieved several calls from the gangmembers of the chicken about this happening in near future.

I have called this press conference to let everyone know that I did not make any phone calls to the said chicken.

disinvestment of chickens is necessary for the economy to grow

To cross the road or not to cross....that is the question

AB Vajpayee
Humein................yeh nahin sochna chahiye murghi ne rasta paar kiya ki nahin........balki ye sochna chahiyeki usne rasta kyon par kiya..........kya is paar khana nahin tha.......agar nahin tha to samasya ko jad se hatana yehi hamara dharm hain.

And the following by yours truly……

First year BE student: The seniors told him to.

Second year BE student: (counts the number of chickens, sees 43.Then counts again, sees 15, then again, sees 76.He gives up trying to answer the question and goes back to his glass of vodka)

Third Year BE student: To file an application for low attendance.

Final Year BE student: if(chicken_got_placed)

some college specific jokes(non DIT junta may not get these)

Doesn’t matter why it crossed the road, the important thing is that it is not applying for an MBA.

The chicken crossed the road looking for more efficient current conveyors.

The chicken just got placed in TCS!

Sir chicken ke saath ek photo to ho jaaye.


Sunday, January 16, 2005

College mates! left to right, jain,me,amwan,kaushal,tomar
 Posted by Hello

Viva Voce

If there is one place where the all the fun is , in an engineering college, it has got to be the vivas.With the future of our country cooking up such ludicrous answers that few would believe that these are the same people who beat lakhs others to get into IITs,DIT\DCE, REcs etc.

The following post shows some of the examples of ingenuity shown by engineering students.All of these experiences had been posted on PG and I have simply done a copy paste job.But do read ‘em, they are hilarious and bring back great memories. Some are from my own college, some from IITs and some RECs. All supposed to harbor the “cream” of the country.

Here goes…


Prof: Is there 3 phase elec?
Std: yes
Prof: Is there 6 phase elec?
Std: (lil confused)mmm....yes
Prof: Is there 15 phase elec?
Std: (now bordering on bewilderment...looks around for help)sir....mmm....cant say...i guess .....yes
Prof: So tell me .....where is all this electricity coming from?
Std:(realizing that trap has been set but still tries to recover): sir.........mmmm.......Delhi Vidyut Board

REC Warangal

Q: Nikhil, the circuit you have drawn is wrong and you will not be allowed to proceed with the exam ie perform what’s in the circuit.
Ans: Madam, is it factually erroneous or aesthetically unpleasant?

sir:-why is the blade of jackplane inclined?
myself:-(questioning in return)how can its smoothen the surface if it is not inclined. its not possible.
myself:- see sir (he is more attentive now) when u butter the bread , u incline the butter-knife and take off the top layer of the butter. thats why the blade of the jack plane is inclined. sir u try to do it with vertical knife, its not possible.

Sir : fan runs on AC or DC ?
Student : AC
Sir : Why not DC ?
Student : Chal to jaayega, lekin utna mazaa nahi aayega

Prof : Wjhat is blah .... blah ...
Me : er.....I don't know sir..
Prof : Wjhat is blah .... blah ... part 2
Me : er.....I don't know sir..
Prof : Kal raat ko kitne baaje tak padhe ?
Me : (hoping to gain sympathy) Sir, kal mein raat ko do baaje tak padha !
Prof : Answers dekhke lagta hai tumhne ek baaje shuru kiya tha padhna

Venue: Foundry Lab, IIT Kgp
Prof. : Tell me what is foundry
Stud: (looks around the lab... roams his hand) SIr, This is foundy
no more questions from him

Venue:IIT KGP,Manufacturing Lab

Prof: So u are from Calcutta, Tell me what kind of joints are there in Howrah Bridge
F: err...Sir .. Welding ...
P: Accha its welding ... good ...
(He then wnets on to tell him that its Rivetting, which is the Nut-Bolt used joints)
P: Accha now tell me why is it Rivetting and Not welding
F: Sir actually howrah bridge was built in British Period. They made it Nut-Bolt str and not Welding so that in case there is an insurgency on one side they can dismantle the bridge and keep ppl from crossing the Brdige


There is this guy who is real dumb ( not to mention ) and he is writing his first year electrical circuits end sem exams..he is lucky enough to get a seat next to some "muggu", he passes a word before the exam starts requesting him to keep his paper wide wide visible...this "muggu" guys in turn requests him to change the language and the matter a lil bit so that they don't end up writing the same thing...

Now, hold your breath...

The "muggu" guy wrote in his paper....****** 3 phase *******

to this, our stud copies, with a lil bit of innovation....******* 2.99 phase *********

Venue: Viva of 3rd sem Instrumentation lab in SJCE Mysore

Prof: What are the constants in a first order.....equation??( cant remember what that damn equation was)
Student: (After thinking hard for 10-15 secs...) sir.....a,b
Prof: ok what is a?? what is b??
Student: Sir.........they are constants

4 sem BE electrical prac exams
venue-electrical machines lab
Q-how does a DC motor start??
Ans- after thinking 4 few secs . Clears his throat and goes dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhukdhukdhukdhukdhukdhukdhuk..
The prof is and 1 of the stus sitting next to the senior falls down laughing!! The prof says-"enuf stop"
response-"dhukdhukdhukdhukdhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk dhuk and ends with a clicking sound.

Venue:CET,Trivandrum(not sure…)
Sir! I dont know Malayalam" - The most cliched phrase I used in CET to escape from any sort of Questioning and all.
Machine Shop 1 Viva
External : Question No.1
Stud :
External : Question No.2
Stud :
External : Question No.6
Stud :
Now The external started to ask Question No.1 in Malayalam
Stud replied back with confidence - "Sir!!! I dont know Malayalam"
External : Oh! I thought you dint understand English!
Stud: Wonders whether to laugh or cry!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

A drive in delightful Delhi

So u wake up in the morning, the birds are chirping, u put on a nice CD of Enya and listen to Pax Deurum or Athair Ar Neamh for a while (For the uninitiated, these are some masterpieces by Enya, an Irish lady with a voice sweet enough to kill for).

The sun is out and the bright rays make you warm. Life is good and you thank god for everything that you have, a potentially successful career, a loving family, good friends and the other ubiquitous comforts of life.

Of course, then you remember that you just have to get one small chore out of the way, namely drop off your brother at some place nearby, and then you’ll have the whole day to yourself. You daydream a little about what you’ll do and how you’ll spend the day. Musing about reading some delightful book or maybe sleeping in your cozy lil bed the whole day with small breaks for eating. You are suddenly awoken from your reverie as you hear you mother remind you about the small task that stands between you and you plans, the act of dropping your brother off.

You take a nice hot bath and have a sumptuous breakfast and get ready to go. The destination is not far, you are told. Of course, you think to yourself, what is 5-6 kilometers really in this day and age of flyovers and fast cars.

You switch on the ignition and make a blessed start to you journey. In the way, you encounter many a moron, some driving like potential slayers or some simply suicidal. But the fact that your elder brother is sitting next to you makes you keep your thoughts to yourself. You mutter to yourself that these f***kers should have their licenses revoked and also be given a nice dose of ass kicking, but you keep quiet.

You calm yourself and think that you will not let these people spoil your day, you dream a little about the thought of lying in a hot bath and you smile again and think to yourself that the goal is getting closer with every passing second.

So after many trials and tribulations, including a rickshaw wallah calling you some names that would chill the spine of many a sophisticated man and also being accused of driving rashly by a young pedestrian who believed that while he was on the road, the most important thing was to stand in the middle of the road and light his cigarette, you finally reach your destination and your brother goes off merrily.

You envy him a little as you remember that there is still the journey back home and rush hour has just started. You brace yourself for the impending battle and tell yourself to concentrate on the purpose of all this, that is to get back home and relax.

And so the ride back home starts. You may as well call it a ride through the cauldrons of unfathomable hell. The torture of driving through a jam packed road moving at snail’s pace starts to take a toll on you. You sweat and can feel your temper rising.

You try to calm yourself but no avail. It seems that the moron behind you has decided that this is the day to find out how loud his horn can possibly honk and there seems to be an inquisitiveness on his part to find the duration for which he can keep on making this noise without infuriating one of his fellow road mates. You curse the bastard and show him the finger. The honking stops for a while and you’re relieved. But the relief is short lasted as you find out that the silence of the horn was only the result of the fact that the guy is now standing next to your window and wants to have a little street brawl.

Apparently he is a fan of WWF and isn’t exactly thrilled at the fact that you gave him the finger. You mutter to yourself that this is the last thing that you wanted but since the situation has now presented itself you might as well handle it and not make a mess of your face in the process. So after a bit of arguing and a mob of 20 surrounding the two of you, you find that there are others who were irritated by this bugger’s incessant horn honking and you have some support. So you win this small battle and the dude goes back to his car but not without telling you that “Tu fir se milio mereko saale …..”.

So you sit in the car with a sense of victory and feel that you just have to put all that has happened this morning behind you and just get home.

After another half an hour of crawling movement, the traffic finally clears out and you breathe a sigh of relief. The road is empty in front of you and your goal seems closer than ever before. You step on the gas and drive a little faster.

You see a red light ahead, but to your delight, it is green. You are just five minutes from your home. As you pass the red light you suddenly see a middle aged lady in a car, chatting on her cell phone without looking where she is going and also jumping the red light. You push the brake with all your might to avoid her, but alas, it is too late. Your car brushes against hers and there are very noticeable dents on both cars. There is no limit to your fury and you stomp out of the car to give the woman a piece of your mind.

But she steps out with a sheepish smile, with guilt on her face, she mutters” Beta aapko bhi to dekhna chahiye naa”. You just lose the will to live. Not only does this woman not accept her mistake, she is trying to con you into accepting that you were at fault too. A crowd starts to gather and you feel that the woman will easily generate more sympathy than you could ever dream of. The tide could easily turn against you.

You simply ask her to move her car and head back home, thinking about how much it’ll cost you to get that dent fixed. You get to the garage and after two hours of denting, painting and what not you finally get the car fixed. You pay the mechanic and start the drive back home after having burnt a hole in your wallet. You were sweating due to the balmy atmosphere of the garage and now the cold wind is blowing, making you shiver. You get home cold and dead tired. You finally enter the door to that cherished place that you call home.

You sit down and decide that all is not lost and you will still make the best of the day that is left. You have bath and feel refreshed again. Life has a purpose again; you feel the urge to live return. The latest book by Alvin Toffler is on you table. You smile at the fact that you’ll finally be able to read about new ideas and learn about the world economy. You get yourself a cup of hot coffee and lie in your bed with the book in your lap. There is a small smile forming on your face.

Suddenly you hear your cell phone ring. It’s your brother. He wants you to pick him up from where you dropped him.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Lazy Bum!

Ahhhh....the joys of unlimited sleep!
One good thing that i have done in the last few days is sleep like hell, i sleep at 3 in the night and wake up at 12 in the morn..
Life is good :D

Apart from that i have also been reading a little bit and have started to gain some momentum towards my prep.

Interestingly enough i have also crossed the four figure mark AFA the blog hits are concerned,its nice to see that peeps are visiting.

Too lazy to post more right now, will make a long post soon about love n stuff, all this coming frm the fact that i just broke up:P


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

The last four years

My parents are often told by our relatives thet they are very lucky to have such “laayak”, as in bright, sons.Ek engineer aur ek doctor.Now I can confidently vouch for the fact that my brother deserves the title of “laayak” but the fact that I will soon become an engineer definitely doesn’t entail me the same title.I will go through my four years in the college and just show you how an average engineer will spend the years of BE.

First Year: Brave new world

So I was happy that I cracked the entrance exam and got into one of the best colleges in India. I was finally out of school and it was time that I stepped into the “real” world. Many people had told me that there would be no more spoon feeding like there used to be in school and it was now all going to be my own responsibility. So I braced myself for a tough academic pursuit ahead of me. Little did I know that the next four years would be as far removed from academics as possible. The first month was filled with ragging and meeting new people and exploring the campus and the new experience of staying in the hostel.

The classes started and I started to get a feel of the kind of horseshit that I would be served for the next four years. The first sem comprised of physics and chemistry and some more solid state physics and all in all I knew that I was going to have a tough time in college. Soon, the end sems appeared outta nowhere and started the new culture of studying from Xeroxed notes, which was hitherto an unknown concept to me while I was in school. Passed the first sem and managed to end up in the bottom quarter of my class. With a deep sense of guilt I looked upon those passed six months and decided that the next six months would see a new rohit.

The second semester started again with another barrage of unknown and abstruse subjects which landed me in a bit of a tangle once again.Add to that the fact that I was introduced to the new concept of “daruu”, all my feelings of guilt and repentance vanished after one peg .It seemed that this sem was going the same way s the first one, but somehow god managed to save me from the ignominy and I managed to perform a lil better and it was time to celebrate with a daroo party in the hostel again.

Here, the first year ended. A year that saw a shift from life in school to life in college.

Second year: The fight back begins

After the taste of easy success in the second sem result, I found myself believing in the philosophy of “jo hona hoga ho jayega”. Which then meant that whether I study or not , I will still obtain the same result, hence anytime spent in studying would be waste of time which could much rather be utilized in more enjoyable activities like bakchodi, movies or of course, a drinking binge. So with a boatload of time I was confused about what to do with all the time on my hand. Here I did the only productive activity in college, which was reading. I read quite a bit and enjoyed myself. When the third sem result came out, although I managed to pass all the subjects , my score sheet was not a pretty sight. With 40s and 50s all over the place, I found my faith, in my earlier held beliefs, shaking. Maybe I did need to study. I still wasn’t sure but I had an inkling that studying a little may change the course of things. So the third sem ended on a rather sad note.

As we entered the fourth sem, for some reason, a lot of talk was focused on placements. Everywhere you looked people was shouting that unless u have a %age of 70 u would have a hard time getting placed. With my paltry 64%, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. All of a sudden things became serious. This was a matter of real concern now. While I had been whiling away my tie and fooling around, I had messed up my profile so badly that I was in danger of not getting placed. I finally woke up. I made life a little organized and worked hard for the next sem and somehow managed to do what was required.

Third Year: The year when Time stopped

Before describing this I would like to state that I have yet to have gone through a more boring year in my life. Time often seemed to stop in my pre final year. With an abundance of time and a lack of activities with which to keep one busy, life got pretty damn boring.

Fifth sem I by far the most boring time I have spent in my life. Innumerable hours spent just lying in the hostel room, doing nothing. Just the sound of pink Floyd or maybe metallica or pearl jam. Another sem passed without anything of note. Life was starting to drift and I had no control over it.

Sixth sem started with a zeal to start prepping for CAT. The so-called mother of all entrance examinations. So preparations for Cat started and so did the brushing up o coding skills. Soon it was going to be the final year and companies would be making a beeline to recruit us. Everyone was busy with Kernighan Ritchie and Tanenbaum.Of course, by the wayside as also the small matter of sem exams, which were starting to become a little easier to handle now, with experience.

Final Year: Ahhh! The end is near now!

The fourth year is without a doubt the most exciting year in the life of an engineer, and so was the case with me. If I remember correctly, We had the first company on the 29th July 2004.It was TCS.I was waiting for the first company, didn’t mtter to me which one.I just wanted a job and then get on with the endless job daru parties. so TCS came and took some 105 people and I got thru too. I was on top of the world. All of a sudden, three years in college seemed worth it.Companies kept coming, classmates fought amongst each other about placement policies and what not. In the end everyone ended up with at least one job.A majority had 2 jobs and some even 3.

Then came CAT. The all important 2 hours of my life. I wrote the test and came out with a grin n my fce and knew that although I did not do to the best of my abilities, I may just have done well enough. The process is still on. Lets see where I end up. If I get into an IIM then I will proudly say that both the sons of my parents are “laayak”.

Till then,
take care,

Monday, January 03, 2005

New Year, Eh ?

Stock Markets! Inflation! Interest Rates! Hobbies! Acads! Damn!
The work never ends, does it? So I somehow managed to scrape my way through CAT and now this.I thought that the hard work was supposed to end after the written, no one told me about this part of the story.Damn those GDs and PIs! Adding to that was the fact that I have a fever and everything tastes like a bloody karela!

Hope everyone else has had a better start to their new year.Wish you all a very happy new year , little belated but still. Well, the New Year has a very interesting concept attached to it, New Year Resolutions. Well New Year resolutions are being formed and broken since at least 4000 years. In fact the Babylonians thought that what a person did on the first day of a new year affected the way the year would progress for that being.

Everyone has them but really how many of us have the will to actually hold on to those resolutions after the first week of January. Now all this thinking about resolutions made me wonder what resolutions are popular. I could guess that losing weight and probably stopping smoking would be there but still I got curious. So, I googled a little bit and found the top 10 most common resolutions. Here they are,

1. Lose weight
2. Stop smoking
3. Stick to a budget
4. Save or earn more money
5. Find a better job
6. Become more organized
7. Exercise more
8. Be more patient
9. Eat better
10. Become a better person

All right then, how many of us just saw our own resolution there. Well, I can see two of mine there. One is to become more organized (god knows how I waste my time, sometimes I think that few people could achieve such levels of inefficiency) and secondly to be more patient.Oh yeah before I forget, I got to get my bike serviced too, that’s been pending for six months now. Another example of how procrastination can achieve gargantuan proportions.Well,lets see if I can tackle these resolutions in the coming year.Hope you guyz can hold on to yours.

Well,that brings me to the end of my first post in the New Year. I hope everyone has a great year.